This page focuses on legal and financial matters... Not everyone who has experienced desertion will divorce and many will not even divide up their assets; some find it better to remain married but separated. Most will aim to remain civil, particularly where the parties can agree on the financial arrangements without recourse to legal action. Where such amicable agreements are not possible, legal and/or financial re-arrangements may be necessary. Financial Advisers Since my husband's desertion I have been most fortunate to find an excellent company to provide me with all the financial advice I have needed. First I went for a comprehensive financial consulation which cost a flat rate of £500 (2006). The advisers worked out our joint assets and what I was entitled to and provided me with a report. They specialise in divorce work of this type and have been excellent and sensitive advisers. They were also able to recommend the very best contacts in the other areas I where I needed advice, such as an accountant, a lawyer and a specialist mortage advisor as well. With this excellent and reasonably priced team I have been able to avoid the outrageous costs that can sometimes be associated with a break-up, get the settlement I am due and continue my life empowered and in charge. I had never been involved in monetary decisions before but am now informed, well advised and very well supported. If you are in a similar position and would like to make contact with the team who advised me, please email me here A Word About The Importance of Finding The Right Lawyer There are many divorce lawyers and an excellent one can be your most valuable ally during separation and divorce - but not all of them are excellent ones! Some less-scrupulous divorce lawyers are not above using any leftover anger and resentment you may have as a way of getting back at your ex financially. Remember, the more money you receive in your settlement, the more work can be justified; the more work done, the higher the legal bills may be. It isn't a great tactic to fire the present legal representative in the middle of your case, either - just like plumbers and builders, some lawyers may use the mess they inherited as an excuse for their failure to produce a fast and successful outcome. Let's face it, this part - the settlement - always had the potential to be costly but statistics show that after a few years the vast majority of once-bitter rivals both end up wishing they could have sorted it all out amicably between them without a lawyer! Those who have been deserted are likely to experience more than a little resentment, which sometimes gets exploited to create 'payback time' during the financial settlement process. Never forget that your lawyer works for YOU - the approach they take should depend on the strategy YOU want to follow. It is true that to get the best result, some ex-partners need to be treated in a no-nonsense manner while others require kid gloves - an excellent lawyer recognises the difference and can get the results that are fair without drawing the process out. The really excellent lawyers are skilled in negotiation and mediation and will not be afraid of getting involved at a personal level if the result can be achieved both quickly and at reasonable cost. To find out more about your rights and what you should expect from your lawyer, click on the 'Links' button on the Main Menu (below the sunrise picture) and navigate to the websites of organisations such as Resolution, The Law Society, etc. Do I Have To Hire A Lawyer? No! If you have dependent children or complicated joint finances then a lawyer is best placed to know how to secure the future for you and your family. But if you have no children and your finances are straightforward - no outstanding debts, no disputes over property, possessions or maintenance - then you may want to consider conducting your own divorce. You can obtain a Divorce Petition (Form D8) from your local court or download it from the Internet and file it with the court yourself for a fee of £300 (April 2007). The court will serve the petition on your former partner and provided they sign and return it, a date will be set for your Decree Nisi to be granted. At present there is no requirement for either of you to attend court. Six weeks and one day following this, you will be eligible to apply for a Decree Absolute for a fee of £40 (April 2007). If you are still concerned about the cost of a DIY divorce, there is a section on the Petition form to request that your ex meets your expenses. For further information, to find your local court or to download legal forms and Notes for Guidance, click here